• Home
  • Bio
  • Epstein's Pancake
  • Breeders
  • Books
  • Other Stuff
    • Journalism
    • Phantom of the Paradise
    • Kiss Daddy Goodnight
    • Stories
  • Blog & Tweets
  • Videos
  • Contact
B J A R N E     R O S T A I N G
Join us on Twitter & Facebook

SOUTH PARK BY THE SEA: GOVERNOR CARTMAN (NJ) BETRAYED BY AIDE, TAKES VENGEANCE, BREAKS NEWS CONFERENCE RECORD

1/19/2014

0 Comments

 
Many people over thirty just can’t take South Park. Too funky, too outrageous, too smart, too true. Like Roseanne back in the last century, it breaks a lot of rules, most of which no longer rule. Eric Cartman dominates the show, a driven demonic fat boy who will happily cause cataclysmic catastrophes and then offer ridiculous explanations. He dreams big, knows no fear, and has to be stage center at all costs.

Cartman often prevails. People pay attention to him because of his imagination and  energy. Greedy and petty, he was born ethically corrupt. His daring unfettered demented intelligence is hypnotic. He is the charismatic leader who can’t be trusted, which the other kids know, but they follow him anyway, because South Park is every innocent ignorant town in our land, goodhearted and not clever, believing what it sees on the tube, an isolated never-never land in the Rockies, always a step behind. 

It’s too small for the post-puberty Cartman. He’s migrated to the big bad tri state area, changed his name to Chris Christie, and damned if he didn’t get his greedy self elected governor of New Jersey! Now he’s the brute he always wanted to be, still telling those whoppers, still cruel and vengeful, but able to enforce his will on his fiefdom. He still thinks big, and he’s learned a lot. He’s the biggest, the smartest, the most dangerous, and unfortunately, the best man to have around in a crisis. He’s swift, decisive and unnerving. In the dearth of qualified contenders, he is expected to run for the Presidency.

Cartman/Christie’s current whopper is that he had no idea what a top aide was up to when she paralyzed the town of Fort Lee by bleeping with the George Washington Bridge lanes to Fort Lee, ostensibly for a study that never happened. She and she alone did this awesome thing! What a gal! If you believe that, the governor may offer to sell you that bridge. Christie/Cartman being a total hands-on guy, it’s beyond ridiculous. The fallout is toxic and still building, going awesome, breaking press-conference records. This hissy-fit attack on Fort Lee involves interstate commerce, and thus the federal government, which is not yet within his fiefdom.

Whatever happens, the governor is not going down alone for this classic Cartman cock-up. He fired his gal Friday, and now his associates are resigning right, left and center, hiding behind their lawyers, taking the Fifth and like that. With a little luck and muscle, he’ll wiggle out somehow and be wanting your support in 2016. 

If you think that’s funny, it’s not. Sad to say, Christie/Cartman may be as good as anyone willing to run for public office when it comes to sheer executiveness, which we haven’t seen much of in this century. Whether you want the fat kid to have the total power he craves (and access to the nuclear football) is the question. Whatever else, Obie is sane.

It’s Gresham’s Law applied to politics: bad politicians driving out the good the way bad money drives out the good. The Washingtons, Lincolns, Roosevelts and Kennedys are gone. No Eisenhower in sight. Pencil neck shooting guard in the White House, Cartman on the other side impersonating Charles Barkley. You can’t make this stuff up.



0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Tweets by @BjarneRostaing



    Archives

    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2014
    January 2014
    August 2013
    June 2013
    November 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    January 2012
    November 2011
    July 2011

    RSS Feed

 Copyright © 2015 Bjarne Rostaing. All Rights Reserved.                                                                                                                                          Site Design by René Grayre